Learn to forgive & Open your way to happiness

In Chinese culture, there is an expression called "small people", which refers to devious and often small-minded human enemies, or even evil spirits, who backstab you, who are bent on giving you a hard time - either for their personal benefits, or out of plain hatred and jealousy. In other words, these "small people" are anything but "great" to you. There is a mildly voodoo-like folk custom of venting anger on these often unrecognised enemies, by beating a shoe on human-shaped paper figures. Doing so is supposed to ward away bad luck. In the media, feisty old ladies are often portrayed to uphold this ritual, by vengefully banging these paper figures on the floor with wooden clogs, while uttering horrendous curses and swears. But what if one's enemies likewise wish ill upon them? Will there be truce, or will mutual hate thicken? Ironically, probably the only hurt caused is to the old dames' tired hands, and being out of breath. Less tangible is the spiritual damage they do to their minds by nursing seething rage.

Sounds like a pretty harmless or even amusing practice? Well, it's always sad to encounter the elderly, who are resentful to the boiling point. It is as if they had, despite decades of living, still not learnt to forgive, unable to release the burden of hate. It is already suffering enough to be old, much more so to be continually bitter. The thought of growing old and angry is frightening indeed! The person who makes you unhappy is never really an enemy out there. The cause is always you - because it is you and you alone, who allows an external person to "condition" your very own happiness. We are our own small-minded "small people". Why let someone else hold your personal happiness ransom? All others can do is "tempt" us to be unhappy; we decide whether to take the bait and suffer the consequences. Part of becoming spiritually mature is to realise we are responsible for our own happiness, to the extent that others can neither truly grant us happiness nor unhappiness. However, as Shantideva put it, "Enemies and hindrances are my greatest teacher", because they train us to rise above enmity and obstacles. It is thus wiser to be more grateful than resentful.

We cannot force others to be nice to us, but we ourselves can be willingly nice to others. Hopefully, this can touch our enemies, and transform them to be friends. Not always possible instantly, but doing so is to become blameless to others, instead of just blaming others. The main unrecognised enemy is us. The eye that sees others cannot see itself. We are the most invisible to us. We are our immediate and ultimate foes, strengthened by our unmindfulness and delusions. Atisha taught us to "Drive all the blame into one." This "one" is none other than our ego-clinging, that divides others into friends or foes of our ego. Either way, we are all just folks who want True Happiness, with the common enemy of ego-clinging. Why not forgive each other, and help each other subdue this enemy instead?
Do so... before you grow old... and angry!

My Hope

Last night before falling into a deep sleep, a thought flashed into my mind. At that moment I was wondering if I could ever help my family to see through many illusions in this life. To help them reach a higher spiritual level. I've seen through many things in life, I could feel peace, love and compassion. Can I help my family to experience the same things ? Is it possible ? Is it that I was born to seek the truth but the rest were not ? Actually, this is one of the biggest question that I've not yet found a satisfying answer.

For now, I can only pray that God will guide all my family members to truly understand what is the essence of living. To see through that life is just a temporary arrangement. To know that what truly matter is our soul. To believe that at the end it is how unselfish our soul have become that matters.

There are many things in life that I still don't understand, and there might be many challenges ahead that I have to go through. It is my faith in God and my believe that life is a test, that will bring me to the end; to the end, not with a broken soul but to the end with a better soul, a stronger soul who has passed all the tests and a soul who is no longer selfish.

I hope I can help my family to become that kind of soul. I hope I can help the rest too, but if I can't even help my family, could I possibly help the rest?

The Starfish Story

While tiding up my apartment, I found an old print out about a story which I like very much. I like this story because many times I've asked myself: can I really make any difference to the world? The problems in this world are just too many, and I realized those problems truly are part of the "defintion" of this world, the world that you & I are living at the present. Everytime I've the feeling that whatever I've done (or am going to do) will not be a matter, I'll think of this story.

And this is the story:


The Starfish Story
adapted from The Star Thrower by Loren Eiseley
1907 - 1977

Once upon a time, there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work.

One day, as he was walking along the shore, he looked down the beach and saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself at the thought of someone who would dance to the day, and so, he walked faster to catch up.

As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young man, and that what he was doing was not dancing at all. The young man was reaching down to the shore, picking up small objects, and throwing them into the ocean.

He came closer still and called out "Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?"

The young man paused, looked up, and replied "Throwing starfish into the ocean."

"I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?" asked the somewhat startled wise man.

To this, the young man replied, "The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don't throw them in, they'll die."

Upon hearing this, the wise man commented, "But, young man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? You can't possibly make a difference!"

At this, the young man bent down, picked up yet another starfish, and threw it into the ocean. As it met the water, he said, "It made a difference for that one."


===== The End


And btw, my whole apartment looks much better now, plus I've saved $250 from not going to IKEA Sale to buy another two more bookshelves. Plus...controlling my temptation to go to Expo for the ongoing National Library Book Sale (12-13 Aug).

Why must there be a war ?

Maybe, that is part and parcel of human life. I think it is the imperfection that is built into our genes. The gene that makes us behave aggressively in order to solve our problems. The gene that makes unable to control our selfishness, greed and emotions. Until science can come out with a powerful genetic re-engineering to take away these genes from human race, there will always be war.

War will only benefit few persons at the very top, these are the people that manipulate many others to go into war. These are also the very same people that could prevent and stop the war.

What can I do? I'll pray for you to have compassion to know that there is no good outcome from any war.

Amin.